Playing the Rain Game in Xela

Rain on a Bike - by: Michael Thelen

Today is the 5th straight day of rain in what is supposed to be the summer season and my sinus infection has still yet to peak even though I finally got some antibiotics so I'm feeling, "a little under the weather."

I had planned on dedicating this week, my first week without volunteer work, to getting meetings scheduled with local microfinance institutions (MFI's) so that I could begin that phase of my trip. However, with email response frequency not being what I had expected, internet being shaky with the inclement weather, and even my travel between home and food/internet spots being impeded, I haven't actually "accomplished" much. I've got an appointment with FAPE in Guatemala City all worked out for  Monday, so I haven't rested on my laurels completely, but I've felt a little like I did when I was up top of the volcano here and it suddenly switched from freezing rain (in freezing weather) to hail - just plain stuck waiting for my external environment to give me permission to do anything else. 

Hail Storm on Volcan Santa Maria

I may not have done anything that is tangible, or easily demonstrated this week, but just the free time to think a bit about how I'm going to get started on the road again has been helpful. I've had students at the Spanish school ask me, surprised that I'm still around, how come I'm not still volunteering. It's not that I came home every night hunched over from backbreaking labor, but I was busy enough focusing on the now, that it just seemed difficult to truly focus on a distant future that was so filled with uncertainty.

I'm bad at planning as it is - so basically I needed all mental hands on deck to get stuff figured out.

My time volunteering, although draining, really helped me remember what I'm doing. I've repeated this to myself so many times, it sounds redundant, but Mexico was my vacation country, and from here on out it's time to enter my "Real World." Spending a month thinking about other people's needs and well being all day until I came home too tired to read or watch a movie before bed allowed me to move beyond the phase of self centered thoughts on my own desires and experiences and begin once again trying to think how I can do something that impacts the lives of others.

When I was working with the firefighters, it isn't that I was constantly flying around in the back of an ambulance or hanging onto the fire truck before crashing into burning buildings. In fact, my whole month on duty there weren't any fires. A lot of my time was spent in the fish bowl feeling "cabin", which is sort of the lookout post in the fire station that looks over the street below and where the calls come in. I got a lot of newspapers read in there, a lot of postcards written, even some journal entries split between there and the drivers seat of the fire truck. What I did make an impact though, was a 180 degree turn from boredom, sleepiness, idle chatter, or whatever other time passing activity was going on to 100% attention boring into the space in front of you with adrenaline fired nerves squeezing tight to the hand rails in the back of the ambulance as you bounced and jumped over potholes and cobble stoned streets on the way to a service.

Every nerve and neuron in your brain and body working on a way to help this person.

Sometimes all I knew how to do was reach a hand down to wobbling knees or legs on the stretcher from bouncing so much or sliding off to the side as the ambulance, an re-outfitted toyota van), rattled, jumped, and bounced across a city with bad roads and worse traffic.

Working with the children at the nursery was definitely a different experience. There was always a code red emergency - or at least the little one crying wanted you to think it was that kind of emergency.

Always consoling over a scraped knee, a missing crayon, or a dirty diaper, I hardly ever sat down. The hardest thing I had to deal with was my own inability to give them everything they need.

A lot of the kids could use a good father.

A lot of the kids could use healthier food - in bigger quantities - at home.

A lot of the kids could use a little bit of extra money so their parents could afford to send them to school.

It was one thing to be in the ambulance and see somebody stop breathing and not know what to do about it. I mean at least somebody in the ambulance did.

With the kids, I couldn't provide what they needed, and I knew nobody else could either. The problem was simply bigger than me - the only thing I could do was accept it - and do what I could.

When I left the nursery, I'd spent a month of my time there, left some toys, school supplies, and vitamins, but all I can really hope for is the slightest change in one of their lives.

Day at the Zoo with All the Kids

Maybe somebody will remember a male figure that didn't use violence to communicate.

Maybe somebody will remember it's better to share toys with friends.

Maybe I'll get a chance to come back.